Dar Long (darlong) wrote,
Dar Long

You're right, there does seem to be a lot of dead people in my life...

The subject line comes as a recent friend wondered why they keep seeing so many memorial notices on my timeline lately. They thought maybe Facebook was repeat posting. I'm almost used to the fact that most of the people that know me today never knew my son when he was alive. That also means they really only know a small part of me as well of course. The more recent losses came very close together in a kind of mind numbing yet heart crushing barrage. My father and my nephew were terminally ill at the same time. I went to see my dad for his birthday, they both took a turn for the worse. My young nephew died on Wednesday and I left my father to attend the funeral - as he made me promise I would. My father died the day after the funeral. My dear uncle died 6 months later followed by my brother less than 3 months after that. So to round out this month we have my son's birthday, Mother's day, My father's birthday,the anniversary of my nephew's death, the anniversary of my father's death as well as a few other birthdays. This year I got to add my own chemotherapy to the mix.

Losing people you love does not get easier with practice.
Son, father, brother, uncles, nephew, friends, aunt, cousins, father in law - I've had a lot of practice, so I'm pretty confident of this fact.

Each loss is unique in many ways, yet similar in others, and some seem to severe something vital from your soul. And that's about the only wisdom I've gained from all of it (and the decades of working with dying children that came before my own streak of loss). No great revelation or comfort to be found. It's the price we pay for loving someone.

Now you should go back and look at the kitten posts. : ) But before you do, this is my dad, who died of primary liver cancer four years ago. He was a coal miner, an animal lover, and a terrific guy.
Tags: in memory
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